Thank god for a friend who drives very far in the wee hours of the morning to supervise my medical care and captures the precious moment of when I try to carry my own IV bag, trip on the line, and yup, that's blood all over the gown.
A friend that buy gifts for my parasite that I named Juan Pablo.
A friend who sits by my side while my bottle of seltzer explodes all over my Hugh Hefner pajamas and hospital gurney. Lying in the ER in a puddle was EXACTLY how I wanted to spend my last weekend in America.
She's just gonna wait for my anti-nausea meds on this really comfortable metal bench underneath the wall of "Date Night" personal lubricants and facing the adult diapers.
Lighting my gas stove on fire, by hand, is a super fun daily near-death experience. At least when I go up in flames now, it will be IN STYLE.
You can purchase these beauties yourself at:
Merci
111 boulevard Beaumarchais, 75003, PARIS
Happy St. Nicholas Day where, in France, we celebrate the saint who brought 3 kids back from the dead after they were killed by an evil butcher who packed them in a barrel full of salt like anchovies. We fête this feat with cookies and tell this story to small children.
Maltese pups. Or perhaps they're bichons?
as I need this one made from a dead badger with a silk lantern on its head, a Christmas tree at its feet, and a little tray in its hand that is just crying out to be stocked with buttermints.
I repeat, dog in a leather coat.
