I'm never sleeping over.
Juan Pablo, the parasite who never dies
Thank god for a friend who drives very far in the wee hours of the morning to supervise my medical care and captures the precious moment of when I try to carry my own IV bag, trip on the line, and yup, that's blood all over the gown.
A friend that buy gifts for my parasite that I named Juan Pablo.
A friend who sits by my side while my bottle of seltzer explodes all over my Hugh Hefner pajamas and hospital gurney. Lying in the ER in a puddle was EXACTLY how I wanted to spend my last weekend in America.
She's just gonna wait for my anti-nausea meds on this really comfortable metal bench underneath the wall of "Date Night" personal lubricants and facing the adult diapers.
This Empty Chair Felt Like a Very Important Part of the Exhibit
until we realized it's just a chair. For the guard.
Philippe Parreno exhibit at the Palais de Tokyo
Modern art is hard.
It's the little things...
Lighting my gas stove on fire, by hand, is a super fun daily near-death experience. At least when I go up in flames now, it will be IN STYLE.
Happy St. Nicholas Day!
Happy St. Nicholas Day where, in France, we celebrate the saint who brought 3 kids back from the dead after they were killed by an evil butcher who packed them in a barrel full of salt like anchovies. We fête this feat with cookies and tell this story to small children.
The Do Not Touch Signs Are Only in English
Neighborhood Meringue Watch
Maltese pups. Or perhaps they're bichons?
I've NEVER Needed a Lamp So Badly in My Whole Life
as I need this one made from a dead badger with a silk lantern on its head, a Christmas tree at its feet, and a little tray in its hand that is just crying out to be stocked with buttermints.
Dog in a Leather Coat
I repeat, dog in a leather coat.
Thanksgiving Leftovers Idea
Cook a lot of pasta in chicken broth. Add leftover root veggies that are mostly potatoes. Pretend like that is healthy. Spill the scalding liquid all over the palm of your hand and your bedsheets. Get third degree burns and remember why eating soup in bed is always a poor choice.
